I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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