why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Randomize
