put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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