..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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