I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Of course I have a pirate flag
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
