If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
