You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
