Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I need to sanitize my soul.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
