It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
