Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
