worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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