She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
