THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
