I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
