Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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