I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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