we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
