One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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