How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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