they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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