If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
