she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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