I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She even gives head with a lisp.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Randomize