i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
