apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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