i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So apparently I’m into choking now
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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