there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
