I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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