Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
