I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
