i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
