Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
