That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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