OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
