She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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