His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
