he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
