I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize