i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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