what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
