the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
