I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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