I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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