Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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