Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
