I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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