hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
