okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He better not be in your backpack
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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