Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize