You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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