I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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