I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
