oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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