Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
