ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
