I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
